Is chaos your friend?
I often ask coaching clients, “Is there something you’re not doing, so that you get to keep [this] problem?”
My personal answer to this tricksy question? I’m not getting organised; I’m holding on to chaos.
I know very well that it’s not serving me to be disorganised.
Disorganisation keeps me stressed, it keeps me apologetic, and it keeps me busy.
Sometimes I am more organised. I’m not talking ironed sheets or a sparkling house, those things are great but not a priority for me. Occasionally however, I have a tidy office, a well-stocked freezer, and a diary with more than just work events.
But this isn’t my norm, this requires conscious effort.
Another way of phrasing the question might be, “What is it you can avoid feeling, by not doing the thing that would make this problem go away?”
When I get organised and let go of the chaos, I’m calm, I have nothing to apologise for, I have time, comfort, and space. My default is to feel guilty about that. And the guilt is what I want to avoid.
Solution, get chaotic!
I am more aware of this tic than I used to be, I no longer take pride in chaos as ‘a creative’ and mostly I manage it better.
Managing it isn’t just about getting organised however, that’s the easy part and there are a million life management tools to help me. Managing it involves some additional steps,
- Recognising the guilt and naming it.
- Acknowledging, I do have a life that often allows me to enjoy space and time,
- Being supremely grateful for that.
So, how about you?
“Is there something you’re not doing, so that you get to keep a problem?”